A local dad has officially admitted defeat after just a few hours on his own, sending a panicked text to his wife during her long-awaited girls’ weekend away.
Dean Hargreaves, 38, found himself stranded in their spacious four-bedroom home with two children and no clue how to function without Melissa’s guidance. The trouble started when he described his role as “babysitting,” prompting an instant auto-reply from his wife reminding him it’s not babysitting when they’re your own kids — it’s parenting.
Melissa, well aware of her husband’s track record, had set him up for success. The fridge was filled with prepped meals, yoghurt pouches, and neatly labeled containers for every snack. Fresh pyjamas were folded and ready, bath toys were by the tub, and even bedtime books were lined up in order. She even went so far as to leave him a consolation prize: one cold Coopers Pale Ale.
But despite all of that, Dean spent most of the day pacing between the fridge and couch, overwhelmed by the idea that some men apparently manage this whole “looking after your kids” thing without supervision.
“He actually asked me if I’d ever got my kids bathed, fed, and into bed on my own,” laughed Craig Mahon, the next-door neighbor and father of six.
“When I said yes, he looked at me like I’d just told him I fought a crocodile. Mate, I’ve got a house full of kids and I thrive on the chaos. This is nothing.”
By mid-afternoon, Dean’s kids had slipped into mismatched outfits and were living off yoghurt pouches and dry Weet-Bix, while their dad was “working out a plan” for dinner that never quite materialized.
Those close to the family predict Melissa will return Sunday night to a home in shambles: laundry piled up, damp towels on the floor, and nappies tossed into the kitchen bin.
Still, sources say Dean has already been looking into a boys’ golf trip for spring — because apparently, turnabout is fair play.